The computer troubles of man
To:
Technical Support. Subject: Software Problems.
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program
began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No
mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0
installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where
it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Drunken Boys
Night 2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.
I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other
favorite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall
does not work on this program. Can you help me, please!!!
Thanks, Joe. Dear Joe: This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due
to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the
idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program. Wife 1.0 is an
OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything. It is unlikely you would
be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files
within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained. It
is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once
installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do
this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems
than the original system. Look in your manual under "Warnings/ Alimony/Child
Support." I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. Having Wife
1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General
Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that
might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to enter the
command C:\APOLOGIZE. In any case avoid excessive use of the Esc key because ultimately
you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return to
normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs. Wife
1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance. Consider buying additional software to
improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Chocolates 5.0. Do not
under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported
application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating
system.
Best of luck!
Tech Support.. |